End.

At times, when we hear the way somebody important to us speak, we can just feel that they're starting to allow themself to think of other options and possibilities, the ones that we have nothing to do with.

I hope not, but probably I am, just an option. It's okay. I believe one day I will have somebody who really deserve my love, and love me just as much, whoever that is. I will be waiting for that time to come.

May everything we go through is worth it in the end.

Tired.

Too tired of everything. I hope it will all be worth it after all. May Allah guide us in our actions and give us strength when we need it. :)

Plain.

Not in a very long time have I felt this sensation. A feeling that's very plain and simple. Just too tired of explaining every single detail that people should've understood in the first place. "If you were me, what would you feel?"

Am I. Am I the one that needs to do the explaining every time? Even when I'm the one that needs an explanation?

Am I. Am I the one that needs to convince, even when I'm the one that needs to be convinced?

Am I. Am I the one that needs to calm myself down and calm other people down, when I'm the one in a situation I shouldn't easily be calm about?

This hits me very hard. I'm just too tired, that somehow, I feel calm. I hope this is not permanent, but right now, I don't feel like saying more.

Trust.

Love needs caring. But it also needs trust. For without trust, there will only be pain and heartache. For one's self, and the loved one.

Pray. Pray for trust to be present where it's needs to be.

Embrace The Emptiness.

When you love someone for real, but you are very far away from each other, one thing usualy happens.

Emptiness.

Every kind of communication possible only occur through social media, text messages, the internet. Whatever kind it is, we never really see each other while communicating, not face-to-face as we can when we physically meet. And sometimes it causes us to question whether what we have is real or not. Whether there's really someone behind the text messages, whether that person truly is the person we once know.

We feel empty. And it's depressing. It's very tiring sometimes. But whatever happens, we should always hold on hope and not give in to the emptiness, but rather, embrace it. And do the best we can to make ourselves feel the presence of each other, despite the physical distance.

We might worry a lot, we might feel sad, we might feel insecure, we might not feel comfortable being so far away. But that's okay. That only means that we truly care for each other. That means we truly hope it will all work out and that all these hardships and challenges will someday be worth it.

YOU, I know I worry about you a lot. Because you're smart, beautiful, attractive, funny, and everything a man could ask for in a woman. I'm sorry for that. But I'll continue being worried :p. But YOU, don't worry about me being here. I may feel empty and depressed at times, but.. believe me, the depression and loneliness I kept feeling, they prepared me..

I'd rather feel empty due to the distance between us, than filling the emptiness with the company of someone I shouldn't be close to.

I'd rather it be you, always.

So until we meet again and, insyaAllah be united, I'll just embrace the emptiness.

It's you.

You.

I love it when you talk a lot, even though it's just to complain about your day. The fact that you share a part of your life with me, makes me really happy.

I love it when you're serious, and when you're able to convey really good arguments in our discussion. Just the kind of mind I would want to have close to me forever.

I love looking at your smile, hearing your laugh, even though I'm no good at making you smile or laugh. But the fact that it's you, just brings me to admiration.

I love it when you spontaneously come up with witty jokes, even though some of them are kind of lame :p. They just make my day.

I love it when you hear carefully what I have to say. About the things I have in my mind. Even though in truth, they're kind of trivial and small. But when you hear them anyway, I feel appreciated.

I love it when you say the right things to make me feel better. Even though at times I can be quite childish and clingy. But you do it anyway.

I love it that while we have things in common, we also have whole lots of differences. But up until now, we've learnt to accept one another, correct one another, learn together, and grow together, day by day.

In actual fact. There are so many things I love about you. But, I'll just tell them to you later, along our journey in life. I really do hope, and often pray, that we keep being together on this journey.

It's you.

Of all the people I've met my entire life. It's you I want to be with. It's you.

I Wish.

Sometimes, I just wish I can be the most compassionate person I can be, without the risk of being too sensitive.

Because at times,.. feeling things too deeply is just,.. tiring.

And I don't want to be a bother.